What is it with us and Self-Esteem
- Have you found yourself worrying about what other people think of you?
- Do you fear they are judging you?
- Are social situations making you feel anxious and insecure?
Do these questions resonate? Even to the point, you find yourself lost in your own thoughts and hiding out at the snack table or in the corner sipping your drink observing everyone else.
Do you catch a glimpse of yourself in a mirror and instantly start bashing every flaw you possess?
Staring at your hair you wonder why it doesn’t have more volume and look luscious. Pulling at your shirt so it’s no longer hugging your stomach. You say to yourself “Ugh, I look awful. Monday I need to get back on that diet and start going to the gym again.”
A friend asks you to go to the beach with them, “I can’t go to the beach. I’d rather be caught dead than be seen in a bathing suit.” When you decline she begs you to join her. You are nervous to upset her so you say yes even though you are still worried about what people will say once they see you in a bathing suit.
It seems there is no end to it.
You stay quiet at work and try not to draw any attention to yourself. At least once a week you question how you even got this job. Your boss asks you to take on a project that’s due Friday, “I’ll never get that done. He’s nuts to think I can get this stuff done. I don’t even know what I am doing”
You find yourself staring deep into your computer screen. Not sure where to even start. This doesn’t surprise you. You can never make a decision and when you do it seems to always be the wrong decision. You can’t even decide where to have dinner most of the time without doubting if something else would be a better choice.
Friday comes around and you are still working at 4:55 pm because you have done and re-done this project three times. It just doesn’t seem to be good enough to present to your boss. You finally provide the project to your boss via email at 7 pm. Your boss emails you back and asks to meet with you Monday. You become filled with dread and think to yourself “I’m probably getting fired because this came out so badly.”
Your weekend is now full of fear and anxiety about what could happen on Monday when you get back to work.
When Monday rolls around your boss says you did a great job on the project, but next time to manage your time more effectively. You leave his office harping on how your boss doesn’t think you use your time wisely and are bad at your job.
Your head is full of self-doubt and negative thinking. You feel inadequate, insecure, and sad. Nothing seems to work out the way you want it to. People take advantage of your kind heart and expect you to be this perfect person.
It’s so hard to get someone to understand how you feel. It’s not that life is horrible, but it just doesn’t feel like you want it to. Each day is kind of blah. Most days you feel blah. Not happy, but not miserable. You just wish it would feel better! You wish you would feel better!
You deserve to feel better!
You deserve to feel secure in yourself. You deserve to feel confident in decision making, in social situations, and in your abilities! Let me help you discover your confidence by being brave enough to change behaviors and unhelpful thinking!
- having the words to assert yourself, speak up for yourself, and set boundaries with others. No longer feel taken for granted or used by family, friends, or co-workers. Imagine saying no without feeling guilty or worried about hurting someone else’s feelings. Imagine feeling less hurt by other people.
- being your best self and caring about you in a way that promotes being the amazing individual you are deep down inside.
- letting that person out freely and with pride.
- having the skills to help improve your self-esteem, self-confidence, and identity.
- looking in the mirror without judgment.
- walking into a party confident.
- meeting with your boss without fear.
- the chatter in your head that tells you, you aren’t good enough and criticizes your every move disappeared.
Just imagine using positive self-talk to promote healthy and helpful behaviors in yourself.
You’re probably wondering how do I improve my self-esteem? How does therapy help me feel better about myself?
A variety of counseling skills can help change stinking thinking patterns that trigger negative self-images and beliefs about you. Learning to change thought patterns and promote healthier and kinder thoughts increases one’s sense of pride in themselves.
Learn to stop comparing yourself to others and judging your every move. By learning the art of being more mindful, you not only learn to remain in the present moment, which decreases worry, but mindfulness teaches you the beauty of acceptance without judgment. See yourself accepting yourself, your reality, and others without the harsh thoughts that follow your current thoughts.
Once you have changed the cognitive symptoms of low self-esteem you will find yourself willing and open to trying new activities or pursuing the ones you already love but have always held back on doing. With higher self-esteem, you will start allowing yourself to live the life you desire and deserve.